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Welcome 2016! 2015 almost KILLED me!

Happy New Year Everyone! I know you have heard this saying over and over again today, but to me this has significant meaning. Happy. New. Year!

2015 was one of the most challenging years of my entire life. I felt like I was in a box, inside a bubble, under the ocean with no way of getting out and reaching the surface. I felt like a trapped rat about to die. I felt like I couldn’t breathe most days. It was overwhelming at times and I honestly felt like I wanted to die. Yes, I have 6 beautiful, healthy, wonderful children and a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally, but at times this wasn’t enough to push these thoughts out of my mind. All I could think of most days was is this the way it is always going to be? Is this how I will always feel? I can’t go on like this? Lord, please help me!

I understand that we all go through things in our life. We all have problems and obstacles that we have to deal with and face on a daily basis. I’m not comparing my life to yours in any way. I’m just detailing how I felt this past year and how I overcame the darkness that was consuming me.

6 years ago my mother-in-law and sister-in-law moved in to the home with my husband and I and our children. It was a temporary situation while they remodeled my mother-in-laws home. Well, things didn’t go as planned with contractors and money and they are still here. This has been a lot to deal with because I’m a grown woman, who gets up every day Monday – Friday and goes to work, raising a large family and dealing with life stressors. When I come home, I want peace in my home and most days there was none. I felt like I was in a horror story. There is a lot more to the story that I choose not to divulge at this time, but it was rough.

I also had to deal with a teenager that is out of control, running away, missing school, and not accepting responsibility for any of her actions.

Goodbye-2015-and-hello-2016-photo

So when I say that I’m glad that 2015 is over, I truly mean it! I am so glad that 2015 is over! I was in a very dark place and at times I didn’t think that I was going to make it another minute, another day, another week or another month. I had to sit down and evaluate my life and all that was taking place. Despite everything, I had a healthy family, a roof over our heads, food in the refrigerator and all the bills were paid. I had to find any and all the positive in my life that I could and focus on that. I had to talk to people and tell them how I felt. I had to focus on someone other than myself because this took my mind off my problems. I had to journal and most importantly, I had to pray and ask God for guidance. When I tell you that I’m happy its a new year, please believe me. I’m looking forward to 2016 and all that it has in store for myself and my family.

My apologies for taking some time off from the blog. I was dealing with a lot and I actually lost myself. I enjoy writing and I hope that you enjoy the posts as well. Please stay tuned! I think 2016 is going to be a lot of fun for both of us.

Happy New Year!!!

Questions You Shouldn’t Ask A Large Family…

 

Moments

Every time I venture out with my kids, rather it be the supermarket, Target or the doctor’s office, we always get stares, glares, comments and questions. I honestly don’t believe people are intentionally being rude, but if you would only take a moment to think before you speak. Well… Some comments make me laugh, but some are down right rude. I try to keep my cool and continue on with my day, but some questions and comments stop me in tracks.

These are some of the questions and comments I’ve encountered. Please let me know in the comments below if I’m overreacting and should just brush it off.

  1. Are these all your kids? “Well, let me see… last time I checked they were.” “Why? Is there one you would like to have?”
  2. Were they all planned? “Of course not, every single one of them were an accident.” Rolls eyes…
  3. Are you religious? “Are you?”
  4. How can you afford all of these kids? “Well, I only feed 2 a day and they have to pick straws.” “How do you pay your bills, car note, and house payment?”
  5. I could never have that many kids! “Good, because I don’t recommend you have this many either.” “Some people are just built for this lifestyle and some are not.”
  6. I’m glad it’s you and not me! “I’m pretty sure, my kids are glad it’s me and not you either.”
  7. Are you done? “Why are you paying our bills, daycare, groceries, clothes, college, weddings and living with us? No? Then I wouldn’t concern yourself with my families decision making.”
  8. Is your husband fixed? “Well, I’ve always been told, if it isn’t broke don’t fix it & it’s working just fine.”
  9. You got your hands full. “Yes I do, but you should really see my heart!”

Pic collage

Yes, we have a large family by today’s standards, but we love each and every one of our children and wouldn’t have it any other way. We are blessed and richer than Oprah in my eyes.

I hope this helps people understand that some questions shouldn’t be asked. You may not think they are rude or intrusive, but to a large family they can be. Just know that we made a choice to have each an every child, planned or not, we are one happy family.

Please let me know your thoughts and if you have ever encountered questions like these.

Large Family Laundry!

Please let me paint you a picture of what my laundry mountain looks like with 6 kids and 2 adults in the home. If each person wears one outfit a day that is 8 shirts and 8 bottoms a day. This doesn’t include night clothes, towels, washcloths and bed linens. Can you see the mountain growing? and growing? and growing?

So how does a mother of 6 deal with this ever growing mound of clothing?

Step 1: Accept that the laundry will have to be done like dishes need to be washed and bathrooms need to cleaned. It is a necessity and unless we limit all family members to one outfit a week (which I definitely don’t recommend for your sense of smell’s sake) we need to buckle down and get it done. laundry

I have accepted the fact that I will ALWAYS have laundry to do each and every day rather it be washing, folding, putting it away or picking it up off the floor (Yes, it is a daily struggle to get the kids to put it in the numerous hampers).

Step 2: Have laundry pre-sorted, rather it is done in the kids rooms or in the laundry room. Having the laundry pre-sorted makes it 10x easier to grab a load of laundry and throw it in the washing machine and walking away.

Step 3: I recommend folding the load of laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer. When I do this, it makes my life so much easier. Each child is responsible for putting away their own laundry except for the twins who just turned two on July 1st. I have color coded baskets for each child that I place their clothes in and they take the baskets to their rooms, put their laundry away and must return the baskets back down to the laundry room.

folded laundry

Step 4: It is ok to do laundry every single day. I try to do laundry every day because of the large volume of laundry that accumulates in a day. I like to wash towels and bed linens once a week. I never combine towels and linens in regular loads of clothing.

Step 5: Always keep a nice stock of laundry detergent, fabric softener and dryer sheets in stock. With such a large family, running out of these key items can delay the laundry process which would only make the mountain even higher.

So here you go! My secrets to doing our large families mountain of laundry. I really hope you have received some great ideas or have been inspired to create some of your own. Just remember, it is ok to do laundry everyday!

Feel free to share in the comments below how you accomplish the laundry mountain in your home. I always love to hear from you!

Tried and Tested… Raising a Teen is Beyond Hard

Tried and Tested…

When I found out I was pregnant at 17, I was nervous about how my mom would react, about school, about friends, about life, but despite all of that, I was happy & there was no way in the world that I wasn’t going to welcome my baby with open arms. I knew that I was going to give my child the best life that I could possibly give her. I knew that I was going to finish high school, go to college and provide her with the things that she wanted and deserved.

So after graduating high school, I went to college and worked part-time. I would drop her off at one daycare in the morning, pick her up after school and then drop her off at another daycare while I went to work until 10:30pm. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do because all I wanted to do was spend time with my baby girl. Even though I was doing what needed to be done, I felt guilty. On top of that her father was in and out of her life and this made things difficult as well.

Now my child is 17 and she is not the child that I would have expected her to be. I’ve bent over backwards to do all that I can for her. All that I asked her to do was be respectful, get good grades and follow our rules. She just can’t do it. Everything is all about her and she has made it very clear that she is going to do what she wants, when she wants, no matter who she hurts.

I’ve tried, Lord knows I’ve tried to be the best parent that I can possibly be, but to some I’ve done a poor job with my oldest.

At 17, I was young and dumb, but boy from the moment that I found out that I was pregnant, I’ve done nothing short of love her unconditionally. I finished high school with honors, went to college, always kept a job, got her all her needs and most of her wants. Now, she is entitled and disrespectful and she has lost her mind.

She believes she should be able to do what she wants, when she wants to whomever she wants because in  her words, “she believes she is grown”. I didn’t know it was that hard to respect adults, go to school, do your work and follow the house rules. Last I checked, that is what teenagers are supposed to do.

Now, I’m living in a war zone because if you can’t respect us and follow our rules, you can’t live in our home. The adults work 40+ hours a week, pay all the bills, buy all the food and make all the rules.

I’ve literally bent over backwards for this child. I’ve given her everything or very close to everything she has needed & wanted. I’ve tried to teach her about life, rules, family, doing good in school, the law and she has continued to blow me off and do whatever she wanted  to do.

I can’t live in this state of chaos. On top of everything else, I have 5 kids looking up to her as the oldest and I don’t want them to get the idea that they can do what they want when they get older.

After several unsuccessful conversations, she has made it very clear that she doesn’t want to be here. She wants to be on her own, making her own way and doing whatever it is that she wants to do.

I love her so much. Lord knows I love her, but there is only so much I can do. If she can’t get herself together, then I will have to love her from afar.

This breaks my heart to type this, but my mind is heavy and my heart is broken. I honestly don’t believe she knows the extent of what she is doing, but sometimes, people need a dose of reality to get them back on track.

With unconditional love,

Mommy

 

Playground Chronicles – Mastering the slide

Kaide slideOn Friday, my one and only prince had a baseball game. So after work, off we all went. It was such a beautiful day to be out and about. Even though I was starting to feel a little ill, I knew that this was a memorable day in the making.

So when we got to the baseball field, to our surprise there was a very nice, well maintained playground right next to the field. SCORE! The twins could be occupied while I was still able to watch a little bit of Little Chris’ game.

Kensie slide

The twins are so independent and each day they learn something new. I absolutely love watching them grow and change into little people. Don’t get me wrong, it makes me a little sad at times, because I know one day they will no longer need me as much as they do. But, I’m also proud as I teach them and watch them continue to grow.

So, once the twins started to get restless, I ushered them to the playground to expel some of that energy they had building up. Their little faces began to light up as they saw the slides and the other kids playing.

Kennsley and Kaidennce started up the 3 to 4 steps to the slide and of course, I’m right there to show them exactly how to do it. They are waving and smiling and the sun is shining on their little beautiful faces. That is a memory that I will never forget. Then it is down the slide they go….

YAY!!! And their off, back up the steps, waving, and down the slide they go! And again, back up the steps, waving and down the slide they go! They are in heaven. Loving every minute of it and mommy is right there to cheer them on.

To top off the day, Little Chris won his game making the Tigers 6-1! Go Tigers!

Of course, now it is time to go and you expect kids to be a little upset about leaving the playground, but these two had their fill and was ready to lay it down. Mind you, it was 8:30p, their bedtime. So when they got in the car, they were out like a light! Really it was a perfect day, less me not feeling well, oh and did I forget to mention that Kaidennce threw up everywhere. Yeah, I’ll just leave that little tidbit out. LOL!

Hello world!

easter

Welcome to Moments with Mommy! This blog was created to document my life as a wife and mother of 6. Life can be hectic sometimes working full-time outside the home with 6 children and 5 are 11 years old and under, but this is the life that GOD has blessed me with and I can’t let him or my family down. I love seeing my kids smiling faces especially when they know we are going somewhere to do something fun. They know that their mom is going to be there to support them in whatever it is they do. It can be sports, school, church or dance. Mommy is there tired and all. Don’t get me wrong, some days all I want to do is stay in my bed and sleep, but I know what I signed up for, so I have to put on my boots and strap up. Life is what you make it and I choose to love my family, be there for my family and make as many memories along the way. Hope you will join us on this journey!