Happy New Year Everyone! I know you have heard this saying over and over again today, but to me this has significant meaning. Happy. New. Year!
2015 was one of the most challenging years of my entire life. I felt like I was in a box, inside a bubble, under the ocean with no way of getting out and reaching the surface. I felt like a trapped rat about to die. I felt like I couldn’t breathe most days. It was overwhelming at times and I honestly felt like I wanted to die. Yes, I have 6 beautiful, healthy, wonderful children and a wonderful husband that loves me unconditionally, but at times this wasn’t enough to push these thoughts out of my mind. All I could think of most days was is this the way it is always going to be? Is this how I will always feel? I can’t go on like this? Lord, please help me!
I understand that we all go through things in our life. We all have problems and obstacles that we have to deal with and face on a daily basis. I’m not comparing my life to yours in any way. I’m just detailing how I felt this past year and how I overcame the darkness that was consuming me.
6 years ago my mother-in-law and sister-in-law moved in to the home with my husband and I and our children. It was a temporary situation while they remodeled my mother-in-laws home. Well, things didn’t go as planned with contractors and money and they are still here. This has been a lot to deal with because I’m a grown woman, who gets up every day Monday – Friday and goes to work, raising a large family and dealing with life stressors. When I come home, I want peace in my home and most days there was none. I felt like I was in a horror story. There is a lot more to the story that I choose not to divulge at this time, but it was rough.
I also had to deal with a teenager that is out of control, running away, missing school, and not accepting responsibility for any of her actions.
So when I say that I’m glad that 2015 is over, I truly mean it! I am so glad that 2015 is over! I was in a very dark place and at times I didn’t think that I was going to make it another minute, another day, another week or another month. I had to sit down and evaluate my life and all that was taking place. Despite everything, I had a healthy family, a roof over our heads, food in the refrigerator and all the bills were paid. I had to find any and all the positive in my life that I could and focus on that. I had to talk to people and tell them how I felt. I had to focus on someone other than myself because this took my mind off my problems. I had to journal and most importantly, I had to pray and ask God for guidance. When I tell you that I’m happy its a new year, please believe me. I’m looking forward to 2016 and all that it has in store for myself and my family.
My apologies for taking some time off from the blog. I was dealing with a lot and I actually lost myself. I enjoy writing and I hope that you enjoy the posts as well. Please stay tuned! I think 2016 is going to be a lot of fun for both of us.
Happy New Year!!!